The Book of Screed

WALL-E: the review

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:38:33 GMT

Saw Wall-E. Family outing. It made me laugh. Gotta love Fred Willard.

Though I thought it intensely ironic that a movie with an anti-technology message was created entirely through the use of computers.

-JM

nerves of steel and veins of icewater

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:19:17 GMT

I thought that this was cool. It seems that military spies have tricked Colombian terrorists into giving up their hostages:

Betancourt, 46, was airlifted to freedom Wednesday in an audacious operation involving military spies who tricked the rebels into handing over their most prized hostages — including three U.S. military contractors — without firing a shot.

The stunning caper involved months of intelligence gathering, dozens of helicopters on standby and a strong dose of deceit: The rebels shoved the captives, their hands bound, onto a white unmarked MI-17 helicopter, believing they were being transferred to another guerrilla camp.

Ha ha ha! I believe the term here is 'pwned'.

-JM

debunking Marxism

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:01:26 GMT

John C. Wright confronts the Marxist worldview, and leaves it broken and quivering upon the field. Well put!

-JM

web statistics

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:06:45 GMT

Total hits for jonathanmoeller.com in May: 3,060

Total hits for jonathanmoeller.com in June: 6,799

Excellent, Smithers! Clearly, the Brilliant Master Plan is working! I'm assuming that I actually have one.

-JM

detoxing

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:32:00 GMT

For the first time since mid-1996 or so, I have just gone for 48 hours or so without any caffeine.

It's been, uh, interesting.

It's entirely the fault of gas prices, mostly. I used to drink a lot of Diet Pepsi, and I calculated that I could make up the gas-hike shortfall in my monthly budget by cutting out my Diet Pepsi expenditures. Because I used to drink a lot of Diet Pepsi. Like, when I bought groceries, it took three trips to unload the car. The first trip was to bring in the food. The second trip was to bring in my weekly Diet Pepsi supply. The third trip, of course, was to carry in the rest of the weekly Diet Pepsi supplies.

I tried to quit cold turkey a couple of years ago. This did not go well.

But back then gas only cost $1.80 a gallon. So I started scaling back, from three bottles and one can a day to two bottles and two cans a day (the Diet Pepsi, not the gas). Bit by bit, the amount went down. Last week I was drinking only one can a day, and on Monday I took the leap and went off the carbonated sauce.

It went better than I thought. I've had a mild caffeine headache for the last two days (you know, the kind where the neurons at the top of your brain feel like they're all misfiring at once), but it seems to be breaking. No muscle cramps or nausea this time!

I have noticed that I can sleep much more soundly than before. I used to wake up two to four times a night. Not so much any more. Also, the dreams have been substantially more vivid, which has been odd. I hardly ever used to dream at all, which makes me wonder if I haven't gotten any decent REM sleep since 1996 or so. Could explain a few things.

At any rate, it's time to take a vacation. The last time I tried to take a summer vacation, I got exactly 29.2 miles, whereupon I was hit by a truck. Hopefully this year's vacation will go a little better.

-JM

The Large Hadron Collider Will Doom Us All

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:25:53 GMT

Some people are worried that the Large Hadron Collider will generate an earth-destroying black hole, or render the Earth uninhabitable. These notions are ridiculous. The Large Hadron Collider will not do any of these things.

No, what the Large Hadron Collider will do is much, much worse. Look at this schematic:

What these fools have failed to realize is that this is exactly the summoning circle used to open the dread Outer Gates, as described on page 2285 of the Necronomicon. For when the Collider is powered on, the area within the circle will suddenly vanish in a whirling maelstorm of black energies, and the fearsome Great Old Ones, at long last released from their ancient prison, will storm through the gate to take their hideous, hideous vengeance upon mankind.

So, you know. You might want to stock up on garlic, holy water, wooden stakes, and silver bullets before August. Just in case.

-JM

the prophet

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:12:00 GMT

"Contradictory rumors have raged about it among contemporaries...Important events are obscure. Some believe all manner of hearsay evidence; others twist truth into fiction; and both sorts of error are magnified by time."

This is from the "Annals of Imperial Rome", written by the Roman historian Tacitus sometime around 116 AD or so.

I think it's astonishing how he so accurately predicted the 2008 election.

-JM

The Senate Will Pay For This Foul Treachery!

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:19:00 GMT

So I'm playing Rome: Total War, and I have driven the enemies of Rome before me like chaff before the storm. My armies have brought Gaul under the Roman yoke, and I have crushed the pretensions of the Iberian tribes, and made their once-proud kingdoms into Roman provinces. I have subdued Macedon, and taught the haughty heirs of Alexander the Great to know humility. All of Egypt acknowledges Rome as paramount, along with the truculent folk of Judea and Syria, and I have even conquered the distant isles of outermost Britannia, and tamed its blue-painted savages.

I have slogged through the burning Egyptian deserts, climbed the Macedonian mountains, and waged war through the blackest forests of Germania, all while the indolent old men of the Senate reclined upon their marble benches and issued proclamations from afar. But I begrudged it not, for all that I did was for the glory and honor of Unconquered Rome, destined from the days of noble Aeneas to rule all the earth.

And the Senate dares to declare me outlaw!

I, who have vanquished the enemies of Rome upon three different continents? I, who drove the German hordes back across the Rhine, and even pushed the frontier to the Elbe? I, who have brought more wealth and land and glory to Rome than anyone else, and the Senate dares to claim me of desiring absolute power, naming me a threat to the Republic?

No sooner did the Senate declare me outlaw than the Egyptians, emboldened by the Senate's folly, rose up in revolt. My garrisons were overwhelmed, my loyal and valiant men slaughtered in the streets (though slaying seven men for every loss of their own), and Egypt rose anew as an independent state. The Senate's partisans attacked my Macedonian and Thracian provinces, driving my men back. Everywhere the Senatorial faction is triumphant.

But my veteran armies stand ready in Judea and Syria. They shall return and send these traitorous Egyptians to stand before their precious Osiris. And my grip upon Gaul, Hispania, and Britannia remains strong. I shall gather my veterans, supplement them with fresh recruits, and descend upon Italy. We shall see who dares to stand with the Senate then! I shall repay the Senate ten times over for this treachery and blood of my murdered soldiers.

I will teach these craven old men how a true Roman wages war.

-JM

(As I've said, Rome: Total War is definitely an egomaniac's game.)

guns and roses and the Supreme Court

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:39:22 GMT

I notice that the Supreme Court overturned the DC handgun ban. Here's a key, though unintentionally funny, quote from the article:

City attorneys urged the high court to intervene, warning, "The District of Columbia -- a densely populated urban locality where the violence caused by handguns is well-documented -- will be unable to enforce a law that its elected officials have sensibly concluded saves lives."

There were 143 gun-related murders in Washington last year, compared with 135 in 1976, when the handgun ban was enacted.

In d20 parlance, this is known as Failing Your Saving Throw Against Logic.

I'm not gonna get into the whole guns are bad and must be banned/guns are used for protection/won't anyone think of the CHILDREN!!! debate, because it's tiresome and goes nowhere. I don't own a gun, because frankly it is more responsibility than I am prepared to handle. But I will note two things.

First, historically speaking, a society that prohibits the private ownership of arms tends to be one with a tyrannical or authoritarian government, or one that is taking steps in that direction. It seems that the actual ownership of arms is less important than the right to own them. The difference, I think, is the difference between free citizens of a democratic state, and the imperial subjects of a Caesar. If arms are outlawed, the criminals may or may not have them...but the secret police surely will.

Second, gun violence, whether of the common criminal or the school shooter variety, I think is more a symptom of social pathology than the direct cause. Why are more people frequently shot in inner cities than, say, by roving bands of marauders on the freeway? Why do most of these rampage killings take place at schools? Why are people so angry that they shoot each other in traffic? Honest answers to these questions would require us to take hard looks at society, race, the educational system, income differences, morality, and religion, and that is something that many people find simply too uncomfortable to do. So gun control becomes a convenient bogeyman.

-JM

We're all going to DIEEEEE!!!!! - report at 11

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:39:36 GMT

June 25th, 2008! Mark this day well, my people. For this is the day I finally lost whatever lingering vestige of respect I still had for the news media, whom I shall henceforth refer to as Fearmongering Tragedy Whores. This article from the Associated Press (or, as they are now called, the Associated Fearmongering Tragedy Whores) is what did it:

Everything Is Seemingly Spinning Out Of Control

I am not making this up. Yes, this is the actual article title:

Everything Is Seemingly Spinning Out Of Control: OMG we're all going to DIEEEE!!!

Okay, I made that last bit up. But not by much.

Anyway, the AFTW article continues:

Floods engulf Midwestern river towns. Is it global warming, the gradual degradation of a planet's weather that man seems powerless to stop or just a freakish late-spring deluge?

Uh, I've lived in the Midwest all of my life, and guess what? There's flooding someplace every single year. This is what happens when you live by large rivers. Granted, some years are worse than others. This year was pretty bad because it was so cold this winter and all that snow fell. But of course cold winters and snows are caused because human activity is making the planet warmer. And if that doesn't make sense, you're as a bad as a Holocaust denier. ManBearPig triumphant!

Residents of the nation's capital and its suburbs repeatedly lose power for extended periods as mere thunderstorms rumble through.

Thunderstorms can knock out the electrical grid? Civilization is doomed!

Want to escape on the couch? A writers' strike halted favorite TV shows for half a season.

Actually, I think this resulted in a general improvement in America's moral tone and intellectual level.

Baseball stars Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens stand accused of enhancing their heroics with drugs. Basketball referees are suspected of cheating.

Stay tuned for less than pristine tales from the drug-addled Tour de France and who knows what from the Summer Olympics.

Does this surprise you? Really? If it does, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you. However, I'm pretty sure that a bunch of overpaid millionaires cheating while playing a children's game does not herald imminent societal collapse. And by what standard is hitting a little ball with a stick “heroic”?

Even so, a battered public seems discouraged by the onslaught of dispiriting things. An Associated Press-Ipsos poll says a barrel-scraping 17 percent of people surveyed believe the country is moving in the right direction. That is the lowest reading since the survey began in 2003.

Hmm, whoever could be responsible for this onslaught of dispiriting things? Let me think, let me think. Where could there be an institution that endlessly recycles bad news in order to fill the snippets between 24 hours of daily advertising and to push its favored political candidates right before elections? Wherever could we find an organization that profits by feeding people sensationalized scare hypes and exploiting tragedy for advertising dollars?

Why, right here:

When I was in Wisconsin this weekend, a lot of the news coverage dealt with a memorial service for the victims of a particularly nasty murder-suicide. The Fearmongering Tragedy Whores, of course, hovered around the crowd like vultures. They had an egregious knack for shoving their microphones into some weeping mother's face and saying “how does this make you feel? Can the healing begin now? How does it feel?” I would have liked the mother to say “how do you THINK it feels, you thundering moron!” and then, perhaps, chase the reporter around the park while beating him over the head with the microphone.

I bet it'd be cathartic. Even healing.

Why the vulnerability? After all, this is the 21st century, not a more primitive past when little in life was assured. Surely people know how to fix problems now.

Maybe. And maybe this is what the 21st century will be about — a great unraveling of some things long taken for granted.

When has anything in life ever been assured? The AFTW guys seem to think that if only we manage to elect the correct president this time around, we'll have a perfect world where everyone skips to work while singing Disney tunes in perfect four-part harmony. But let us close with another, far wiser quote:

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Wise words, Sir Winston. Wise words.

-JM

Jonathan Moeller's Wild Summer Road Trip

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:57:22 GMT

Traveled about 800 freeway miles this weekend, during which I learned a few things:

-Throwing a birthday party for a 90-year-old woman is exhausting. Which is surprising, really, because many of the attendees used walkers and couldn't move all that fast.

-There is such a thing as aging with dignity and grace. I hope, with God's grace, that I manage to do so.

-A few people, however, are determined to resist both dignity and grace to the bitter, bitter end.

-If I ever buy a hybrid vehicle, I think I will put a George W. Bush sticker on the bumper, just to mess with people. The Prius seems to come preinstalled with an Obama 08 and (in Minnesota) an Al Franken* For Senate bumper sticker.

-This is a purely anecdotal observation, but it seems that people with Obama 08 stickers are substantially worse drivers than those with McCain 08 stickers. Perhaps it is because the Obama 08 drivers are so focused on Change! and Hope! that they fail to notice the minor details, such as the fact that they are doing 95 miles an hour in the wrong lane. (Let is hope this is not a metaphor for the Obama administration). On the other hand, maybe this is because the typical McCain 08 vehicle seems to be a large white Caddy with Flordia plates that invariably drives twenty to thirty miles below the speed limit.

-Also, if you're in an SUV, and you're doing 85, and you're yammering into your cellphone, it ought to be perfectly legal to run you off the road, take your cell phone, and jam it so far up your intestinal track that you can send a text message by chewing.

-If you're in line at the gas station, shouting at your children to stop touching the goddamn Slim Jims! makes you look stupid.

-Large sectors of Wisconsin are currently underwater. It's a bit odd to drive past a river and know that there used to be an island over to the left.

-It's one thing to know that one's younger siblings are well along the path to becoming competent adults, but it's still quite astonishing to actually see it firsthand.

-JM

*Al Franken? Come on. I mean, if I was going to vote for an SNL alum, it would be Will Ferrell. Franken just wasn't funny enough to merit elective office.

travels and vicious, ugly rumors

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:05:23 GMT

Well, I'm on the road again, so blogging shall be scare for a bit.

Also, if you've heard rumors that I picked the initial cover design for jimhines's upcoming story collection "Der Goblin Held", those rumors are false. False false false false false false false. They are a sugary frosting of falsehood slathered deceitfully upon a cake of LIES! Lies, I say!

-JM

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:21:24 GMT

Elaine Cunningham has posted the Table of Contents for the Lilith Unbound anthology.

Once again, I am breathing air waaaay over my pay grade. I feel this overwhelming urge to start stuffing my jacket pockets full of hors d'oeuvres and silverware before somebody throws me out.

-JM

victory is mine!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:47:10 GMT

So my youngest brother introduced me to a computer game called Rome: Total War, and now, after a brutal 17 year campaign, I am the master of all Gaul. My armies have driven the Gaulish hordes before them, and have sent their chieftains and their princes in chains to the streets of Rome, where they are a living testament to the glory of my triumphs. By the might of Roman arms, all Gaul now lies subject to the Senate and the People of Rome. Indeed, even as I write this, the walls of the final Gaulish stronghold have come crashing down, and my veteran legionaries swarm through the gap, eager for battle and glory!

But it leads to a vicious dilemma. Do I spare the defeated people, giving them a chance to know the glories of Roman civilization, and demonstrate my noble clementia for all the world to see? Or do I slaughter them all, until the streets run crimson, so that all the world may tremble at the name of Rome, and that none may dare to defy the Roman people? Such are the burdens of command.

Fun game, really. Especially for us egomaniacs.

-JM

Firefox 3 first impressions

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:47:04 GMT

At last I have battered my way to the head of the Firefox 3 downloaded queue and installed it.

First impression: the rendering engine is, to be blunt, quite astonishingly good. Granted this is entirely subjective, but the fonts seem to be rendered with improved clarity. The UI looks markedly sharper as well. Firefox 3 is, without a doubt, superior to both Safari and Internet Explorer 7.

-JM

Firefox 3

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 17:41:50 GMT

Mozilla Firefox 3 comes out tomorrow, and gosh darn it, I'm excited.

I've been a loyal Firefox man since version 0.8, which I first encountered back in the summer of 2004. At the time, I was astonished to encounter a browser that offered tabs*, and was immune to much of the malware that plagued Internet Explorer. That was only four years ago, but the world was quite different; everybody used Internet Explorer 6 from 2001 onwards. If I remember right, IE had something around a 96 percent market share.

I remember reading an article after Firefox 1.0 came out; for the first time in ten years, Microsoft's percentage of the browser market had actually dropped. Granted, it was only a drop of 0.1 %, but the article argued that when the history of the Internet was written, Firefox would be the first sign that Microsoft was losing its grip on its empire. The pebble that starts the avalanche, to paraphrase Gandalf. At the time, I thought it preposterous. People had been saying that for years, and Microsoft had crushed them all and made drinking goblets from their skulls.

Well, that dude was prescient. In 2008, Internet Explorer's market share has fallen to around 78%, and most of that dent is attributable to Firefox. And among those in the know, Firefox usage is even higher. My website had 4000 visitors over the last month, and of those visitors, 82% used some version of Firefox.

Hopefully Firefox 3 will continue this trend. I don't want to see Firefox destroy IE; I'd rather see them split 50/50 for the browser market, fighting tooth and nail for domination. You get a better product that way.

-JM

Green Man Review reviews Sword & Sorceress XXII

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:56:06 GMT

An unlikely sequence of Google searches brought me to the Green Man Review site, where I discovered a review of Sword & Sorceress XXII by one Michael Jones.

Good news, everyone! They liked it:

So, the verdict? Sword and Sorceress XXII is a worthy successor to the original run of the series, and hopefully, signals the start of a whole new dynasty. Waters has revitalized the series by once again bringing in a mixture of old and new blood, giving several new writers a chance and reintroducing us to some old favorites. There's a wide range of stories, themes, moods and styles, enough to appeal to a variety of readers. I found enough stories in this collection to satisfy me, and there's definitely enough to make it worth picking up.

More good news, everyone! They liked my specific story (even if they did misspell my name), giving me another triumphant quote for my reviews page:

Jonathan Mueller's "Black Ghost, Red Ghost" is a tale of intrigue and adventure, as a woman acting as a royal spy investigates a governer suspected of treason. Magic, action, and unavenged ghosts mix together to weave a strong, fast-paced story filled with twists and turns. At the risk of sounding repetitive, I wouldn't mind seeing more of this setting and the main character.

As it turns out, Mr. Jones's wish shall be granted, since Caina* will be returning in Sword & Sorceress XXIII.

-JM

*AKA Countess Marianna Nereide, AKA Anna Callenius, among other false names, depending upon who is trying to kill her just then.

the Irish save civilization, again

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:05:13 GMT

It seems that the Irish have voted down the Lisbon Treaty, throwing a big ol' monkey wrench into the EU's plans.

Good for them, I say! I think the EU is a colossally bad idea. Now, I know people argue that the EU is all about efficiency, and order, and peace, but let's take a look at a few of the people who have previously tried to rule all of Europe for efficiency, order, and peace:

-The Roman Emperor Nero. Kicked his pregnant wife to death, murdered his mother, and lit people on fire to illuminate his garden parties.

-Napoleon Bonaparte. Touched off wars that resulted in death for millions.

-Pope Boniface VIII. Asserted that the papacy was supreme over the monarchs of Europe. This resulted in, among other things, the Babylonian Captivity, the Great Schism, and all the wars of the Reformation.

-Adolf Hitler. Enough said.

-Josef Stalin. Murdered millions of working people in hopes of improving the lot of working people everywhere. Logic was not his strong suit.

History never exactly repeats itself, but if it offers any concrete lessons, one of them is to never trust any group or individual that wants to rule Europe.

-JM

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:04:26 GMT

Get yer Table of Contents for Sword & Sorceress XXIII right here.

As you can see, I'm in company that's waaaaay above my pay grade.

-JM

Sansa Clip 2 GB - a review

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:41:08 GMT

I never used to listen to music during my nightly runs, because I lived near a major public university, and college students tend to drive like Ben-Hur on a bad acid trip. For obvious reasons, I had to listen for incoming engines instead of music. Now, however, I live in a neighborhood with far fewer college students, and therefore fewer psychopathic drivers, so I began to think about picking up a little MP3 player I could listening to whilst running.

I did not want an iPod shuffle. Longtime readers will know that I am not fond of iPods; I think that they are overpriced and offer inferior features compared to similar MP3 players. The iPod shuffle in particular is an egregious example of this. Sure, it's lightweight and tiny, but $50 only gets you one gigabyte of storage, which is annoying. And it comes with no screen, either, which is positively infuriating. Why the heck would anyone buy an MP3 player without a screen? The Emperor is naked here, people.

So I settled on a SanDisk Sansa Clip with two gigabytes of storage for $50.

It's a tiny little thing, though a little larger than an iPod shuffle, with a small but quite legible two-color screen. It will play both MP3 and WMA (DRM-ed and non DRM-ed) files, along with Audible audiobooks, and also comes with an FM tuner and a microphone for recordings. It has a standard mini-USB for connecting to the computer and for charging the battery. The eponymous clip is on the back.

The best way to test it, of course, was in the field. So I loaded up a few music files, clipped it to the waistband of my running shorts, and went for the 2-mile run. It did pretty well. The sound quality was good, and the clip didn't come loose or fall off. I suppose if I really wanted to stress-test it, I ought to lose my balance and land on top of it, but I'm not that eager to push the envelope that far.

All in all, this is a good little MP3 player, and definitely a better bargain than the iPod shuffle.

-JM

vengeance of the Lich Queen, notarized

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:40:08 GMT

I thought this was kind of cool; it seems that the Clintons might actually have an Official Enemies List, complete with an employee who keeps it up to date.

But an actual list? That's so twentieth-century! Myself, I find it is more efficient to keep an Official Enemies Spreadsheet. That way, thanks to careful use of Excel formulas and macros, I can know up-to-the-minute precisely how much glorious, glorious vengeance to inflict upon a foe should the opportunity arise.

-JM

Ubuntu Linux, netbooks, and the Next Big Thing

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:24:18 GMT

Mark Shuttleworth describes Ubuntu Remix edition for netbooks.

I think this could become a huge development, because Ubuntu is the current king of Linux distributions, and the netbook (or subnotebook, or laptot, or Mobile Internet Device, or whatever they call the dang things), might very well become the Next Big Thing. It's an inversion of previous computer trends; most people just use a computer for Internet, e-mail, and word processing, so instead of shelling out $1500 for a powerful laptop, why not get a $400-$600 laptop designed to do those three things?

Now this development could become the Next Big Thing because Microsoft, so far, seems utterly unable to get a solid grip on this new netbook space. All they've done so far is delay the end of support for Windows XP Home, because Vista is way too fat and cumbersome to run on a scaled-down computer. And XP Home is nearly seven years old, and it's beginning to show. If Microsoft is too slow, it will find itself knocked out of this market, the way Apple and iTunes have kept Microsoft's Zune from really taking off.

I wonder if Microsoft Windows has become the George W. Bush of personal computing; it's still here, it's still in charge, but everyone is much more interested in what comes next.

-JM

your computer doesn't have 160 gigabytes of memory: the difference between hard drives and RAM

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 03:03:42 GMT

I know what a hard drive is, and I know what RAM (memory)is, and I find it utterly frustrating that I am unable to explain the difference to non-technical people.

A hard drive consists of several spinning platters of magnetic material and a read/write head with a tiny magnet (think of the needle on an old-style vinyl record player). The platters are divided into tracks and sectors, and when data is written to the drive, the head writes appropriate magnetic fields upon the drive's platters. After the computer is powered off, the magnetic fields remain upon the hard disk, allowing for long-term storage of the data. In computer parlance, this means that hard drives are "non-volitaile", which means that the data doesn't disappear when the power goes off.

RAM, essentially, consists of an enormous number of transistor gates powered by an active electric current. When the computer's processor loads data from the hard drive, it stores* it in RAM by manipulating the transistor gates into either the 0 or the 1 positions. Now, this is substantially faster than a hard drive, because there are no mechanical moving parts, while a hard drive relies on spinning platers, the read/write head, and a working motor. This is why a computer with only 512 megabytes of RAM is much slower than a computer with 2 gigabytes of RAM; with only 512 megabytes, the processor is forced to access the hard drive to load data into memory more often, and the hard drive is limited by mechanical speeds, while RAM works just about as fast as an electron can move. The downside, of course, is that RAM is volatile, which means that if the power goes out, all the stored data disappears unless it has been written to the hard disk's magnetic field. Ever lose a Microsoft Word document when the power goes out? That's because it was only in RAM, and hadn't yet been written to the hard drive.

I'll bet your eyes glassed over for that explanation, didn't they? I get that look a lot, yes I do.

I know all this, but I can't seem to explain it well. Perhaps I know it too well. I can't ever seem to find the single precise metaphor to explain the difference to people, the one metaphor that would throw a perfect ray of light onto the subject.

Perhaps the difficulty is that anyone can use a computer without understanding the hundreds of complex, interlocking systems behind it. Think of of it, though! The labor and genius of literally thousands of men over half a century has been poured out to build the device you use to post cat pictures to LiveJournal.

-JM

*This overlooks the processor cache and the north bridge, south bridge, and system bus, of course, but that's beyond the scope of this discussion.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:30:56 GMT

Saw "Prince Caspian" recently, and liked it.

Now, it took some liberties with the plot of the book, adding an extended battle scene at King Miraz's castle and embellishing Nikabrik's summoning of the White Witch, but I didn't object them. Much as it pains me to admit that. I don't think any of the changes violated the spirit of the book. The battle at the castle only emphasized that the Pensieves should have listened to Lucy and waited for Aslan, and the scene with the White Witch's ghost played up the temptation of dark powers offered to Caspian. It's only when a movie adds scenes that directly contradict the tone of the book that I object (like, say, the ending to the film version of "I Am Legend").

Now, if Nikabrik had made a twenty minute speech arguing that if only the Narnians could kill Aslan and all his ignorant supporters, then they could move into a glorious age of reason and science and free lovin', something like that would have violated the spirit of the book. And made it into a Philip Pullman novel.

Besides, the added scenes were cool. I love me the swordfighting, yes I do. All in all, I liked the movie.

-JM

Is "Worlds to Conquer" about Senator Obama?

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 04:40:59 GMT

Got an e-mail question today from one of the people (fine souls, all) who took a free PDF copy of "Worlds to Conquer":

Is your Senator Wycliffe character an attack on Barack Obama? Because if it is, it's pretty transparent.

Heh.

No. Well, I'll admit that the resemblance is there. In "Worlds to Conquer", Senator Thomas Wycliffe is a charismatic Chicago politician with sketchy business connections who uses an unorthodox political approach and phenomenal speaking skills to propel himself to national office. This also happens to be a thumbnail sketch of Senator Obama's career so far.

The difference, of course, is that Wycliffe (other than being white) uses black magic to enhance his speaking prowess. I suppose there's always a remote possibility that Obama is the Antichrist or something, but I highly doubt that he's sold his soul to the devil in exchange for supernatural power (to Hillary, maybe, but not the devil). But magic or no magic, I didn't base Wycliffe* on Obama.

If you don't believe me, I have chronological proof. I started writing "Worlds to Conquer" in May of 2002, and finished in September of 03. The very first time I heard about Barack Obama was after the election in 04, when he made the cover of Newsweek in January of 05:

At the time, I thought to myself "Huh! A photogenic black Democratic politician adored by the media. This guy's gonna go far." And, lo, I was right. Somebody ought to give me a newspaper column.

So, Wycliffe is not based on Obama; by the time I'd heard about Obama, "Worlds to Conquer" was finished. If Wycliffe reflects any personal political views of mine, it's merely a generalized distrust for a charismatic politician with a devoted following. That Senator Obama is in fact a charismatic politician with a devoted following is purely coincidental. Humorous, but still coincidental.

-JM

*If anything, he's a more scholarly version of Kingfish Huey Long.